“Soldiers should get footballers wages”

In recent months, I have increasingly noticed a social media trend to demand that soldiers be paid footballers wages:

soldiers footballers

Nobody is quite sure why, but it’s definitely something to do with #respect. I decided to examine what would happen if this became a reality and soldiers really did get footballers wages.  What follows is an alternative vision of the future…

Please note, I am a big supporter of those people brave enough to put their lives on the line in the armed forces. They do a fantastic job that I certainly could not do myself, and certainly deserve a great deal of praise and admiration. Just don’t be a tit about it, eh?

1st September 2013

Gareth Bale completes an £85 million transfer from Tottenham Hotspur to Real Madrid. He will earn £300,000 a week, working out at around £15.6 million a year. 26-year-old Shannon Smith from Grimsby writes on Facebook “I fink it’s disgusting dat Gareth Bale will get paid dat much! It shud be soldiers getting his wages!!!1” Her friend Chardonnay comments “Well sed hun! It’s a joke!!”. The status attracts 17 likes.

Meanwhile, a tweet by @DaveEDL from Luton states “Send Gareth Bale to Iraq!!! He’d earn his money there!!!!” The message earns hundreds of retweets, allowing it to end up on the timeline of Fred Thompson, the MP for Pontypridd in South Wales. Fred has never yet been brave enough to speak in parliament, with his only political highlight so far being the time he offered David Cameron a Wine Gum.  However, the popularity of the campaign to give soldiers footballers wages gives Fred an idea…

7th September 2013

After mentally preparing himself all week, Fred Thompson proposes to parliament that the 205,330 active British soldiers and the 181,720 reserve personnel have their wages increased to £100,000 a week.  It is pointed out to Fred that this would cost the British taxpayer an additional £2,012,660,000,000 a year. With around 35 million income tax payers in the UK, for the plan to work every UK taxpayer would have to stump up an extra £57,504 a year. Thompson has prepared for this, and unleashes his secret weapon. He draws the attention of the room to a large computer screen. “I know” he says “I was dubious as well lads. But just LOOK how many people have joined this Facebook group…”

A gasp goes around the chamber. “Soldiers are da real heroes, give them footballers wages” has over 100,000 likes. Nick Clegg and David Cameron look at each other. With an election coming up, an extra 100,000 votes could make all the difference. Not to mention the good publicity…

A debate is called for the following week.

14th September 2013

The 650 MP’s for England and Wales vote by a margin of 408 – 242 to raise soldiers wages to match those of footballers. A week of campaigning from the yes vote supporters had seen #PayOurTroops become the top trending topic on Twitter, while outdoing even Justin Bieber’s new haircut. The ‘Don’t be a tit’ campaign from those opposed to the vote attracts little support. From January 1st 2014, soldiers will be paid £100,000 a week.

2nd December 2013

Police have to be called to several army recruitment centres, as the queues of those who want to enlist stretch as far as the eye can see.

1st January 2014

A day of national celebration ensues across the land as the pay increase becomes official. Finally soldiers have got the #respect they deserve, this will show those nasty footballers! Anybody who speaks out to question the huge tax increase is derided as a traitor and told to leave the country if they don’t like it.  This is an option many choose to take, with thousands avoiding the tax hike by moving abroad.

8th January 2014

Wayne Rooney puts in an official transfer request to David Moyes, stating that he sees his future away from Manchester United. The only people able to match his wage requirements are the army, leading Rooney to join the infantry. He is reprimanded on his first day of training for asking his sergeant if they’d be finished in time for Jeremy Kyle, as well as holding his gun the wrong way round. A recently recruited soldier from the Netherlands greatly outperforms Rooney in combat training, causing him to drop out after a matter of weeks. Wayne returns home to Merseyside, opening a kebab shop. It is the first time he has been happy at work for seven years.

1st February 2014

The first tax deductions to pay for the increased wages of soldiers are made, an extra £4,792 each. With the average salary in the United Kingdom around £21,000, this leaves many people actually earning minus amounts. There are mass walkouts across the country, with yet more people heading to the airports to start a new life abroad. Tommy Robinson of the EDL tweets a picture of the queues outside London Luton stating “Bye traitors!!!”

23rd June 2014

The population of the United Kingdom has shrunk by several million, with tax refugees heading all over the world. This reduction in the number of taxpayers means those who remain are forced to pay even greater amounts.  A small number of protests against the government break out, but are quickly controlled by the army and their gold-plated rifles.

1st August 2014

The poverty suffered by the nation has seen football crowds drop rapidly, with very few people able to afford a ticket. Sky drops out of covering the Premier League, instead launching four new channels covering the army. Sky War provides a great deal of sponsorship to cover excursions to Iraq and Afghanistan exclusively live . Some of the most popular and successful regiments have their mission start times changed to 1pm on a Sunday, to maximise the potential audience.

sky war

The money brought in from this Sky deal allows taxes to be significantly reduced, increasing the popularity of the army further still. Many children can be seen wearing replica uniforms with the names of their favourite troops on the back. Meanwhile, many Premier League football clubs go into administration.

17th October 2014

Fred Thompson becomes Prime Minister of the United Kingdom as a result of his overwhelming popularity  He declares that his next project is to find a way to turn Facebook likes into a cure for cancer.

23rd May 2015

Leeds United win the Premier League, following the collapse of more than half of professional football clubs in Britain. Top scorer Luke Varney asks for a new contract, but is told “If you want those kind of wages, join the army!”.

24th May 2015

Heavily backed by popular fanzine Stand Against Modern Soldiers, a new social media campaign begins, stating “Footballers deserve soldiers wages”….

1st October 2015

Sky War put heavy pressure on the government to enter new conflicts, explaining that the public wanted to see the top forces test themselves at the highest level. Prime Minister Thompson initially refuses, but following sustained pressure from Rupert Murdoch gives in and announces that the fans deserve to see their troops test themselves at the highest level, declaring war on Russia.

30 minutes later on 1st October 2015

The United Kingdom is almost completely destroyed by a colossal Russian attack. Pundits bemoan the lack of home-grown talent, with the foreign troops attracted to the country by the inflated wages  holding England back at an international level. From his nuclear bunker, Alan Hansen describes the defending of the coast as “diabolical”, while The Sun prints a picture of the British Field Marshall as a turnip.

Survivors watch Gary Neville analyse where it all went wrong on a giant iPad, nodding sagely to each other about the possession and shot accuracy success statistics on show. “Eh lads, I reckon this never would have happened if we didn’t give soldiers footballers wages, you know” says one.

He is executed.

23rd June 2045

The United Kingdom has failed to win a war for over 30 years. The grandchildren of David Baddiel and Frank Skinner release “War is coming home” ahead of the latest battle, but a penalty bombout defeat to the unfancied but well-organised Romanians sends the English home early again. Aldershot win the Premier League for the 12th time in a row, bankrolled by a group of wealthy soldiers from the nearby barracks.

The End

Tune in next week for my next imagined football scenario, which looks at what would happen if the FA was run by a load of utterly inept idiots, totally out of touch with the average fan. Hang on a minute…

Posted on September 8, 2013, in General. Bookmark the permalink. 210 Comments.

  1. best article i have ever read

  2. Soldiers should get politicians wages after all its them that send them to war.

    • Did you take nothing with you from this article?? You’re a fucking moron.

    • Army wages are not that bad. I was on 25k a year as a 4 year Private. That got boosted up to 28 when I got my lance corporal. trust me give Pte’s that sort of money and they still blow through it in two weeks.

      • Anyone that tries can be a soldier …

        Millions try to play football in the uk and they fail to even make conference level

      • @mspgrandi, Not anyone who tries can be a soldier, I have an acute case of aspergers syndrome, so Even if I wanted to join the army I never could, even though it would not hinder me in the battlefield, but that’s fine I don’t want to be a soldier, by cousin on the other hand does and also has aspergers syndrome, So I think he’ll be disappointed.

        Football on the other hand can be done by anyone as long as you can kick a ball, if they are determined to go pro, there’s nothing stopping them but themselves

    • Fuck off.

    • Everyone is an idiot here and needs to think from a less opinionated view.

      People pay government, government pays soldiers.

      People pay football association, football association pays players.

      See my point! The money comes from people and more people spend more money on football than governments.

      Not many companies sponser military establishments either which could mean footballer wages if they did sponser them. But then international companies would be taking sides to sponser one military over another,

      Football has billions of fans spending money on tickets, clothing lines, posters, food and drink and a lot of other useless shit. A percentage of every thing spent goes to the corresponding team and then that pays the players.

      Footballers get paid more because the business is bigger than the army, ITS THAT FUCKING SIMPLE.

      You dont see the army making money on Call of Duty and Battlefield do you. Football is making money off football games and not just one football companies make money on every football games.

      IF THE ARMY WANTS TO GET PAID MORE THEY NEED TO RELY ON AN ALTERNATIVE INCOME WHICH ISNT THE GOVERNMENT!

      • most of your arguments are flawed In some way. The very simple fact was eluded to by someone earlier, footballers get paid so well because of supply and demand. They possess a talent few have, and that means they get paid a premium. 7 billion people worldwide, a few hundred footballers, a few hundred thousand soldiers. Simple.

      • I like your enthusiasm there Kane but I’m going to have to tell you why you’re wrong. Not because I like an argument but so you dont make the same mistake in future debates.

        The football industry is not bigger and probably pales in comparison to the military industrial complex. The government don’t make the guns, bullets, explosives, uniforms, jets, tanks, fuel, anything they use in conflict. These things are produced by private companies who profit from selling their products to different governments. Private companies show no bias when it comes to international conflict and will often supply both sides in engagement. Your idea that a company would not sponsor a military establishment for fear of taking sides is completely irrelevant; companies don’t give a fuck as long as they sell their gunships. If you do some research, you will find a lot of top executives are friendly with, and have been, senior government officials. These relationships are what drives our inflated military spending;

        “Mate invade Libya and guard the oil while my company goes and takes it all would you? I’ll give you £650000.”

        “Yeah go on then son”

        This leads me to my second point. The nature of an army, particularly a sprawling colonial monster like ours, is to perpetually expand and engage, in this case to where to oil is. This as you might imagine can require huge expenditure on resources (fuel, food for peeps, air conditioning and shit) and weapons. This spending takes a huge portion of the budget. Football teams dont have to set up a base and roads everywhere they go.

        I could go on but I’m bored now so one more. Like someone else said, its supply and demand. Footballers are idols and celebrities. They have a skill that our society deems worthy of £120000 a week. Very few people can perform at this level which is why it costs more. Anyone can be a soldier. Anyone. Just do as your told and shoot the brown ones. But the wage disparity of these stakeholders do not show the picture of the entire industries. McDonald’s pays its workers less than I make at a shop down the road, doesn’t mean this shop is bigger.

        Just a quick opinion, I dont think what either do are good or heroic. Football, though I love it, is disgusting in its current state and I am ashamed to be so involved. The army, I appreciate the troops in that they get fucked over badly and thats not fair, but what they do and what they do it for disgusts me. Killing others is always wrong, always. We dont profit out of our nations military actions. The rich do. It doesn’t make us safer, we dont need to invade a country and kill 900000 civilians so we feel better. Its about money, always, and about oil. And we pay for that with our taxes. With football you have a choice, with military they choose to invade and kill and steal and suppress and its all out of our pockets. Cunts.

    • The soldiers arent marched by force to war. They signed up for the job and the wages.

      • No they get fed a load of bullshit from the government explaining the reasons behind the war and then they get there and realise they where used as pawns so the government can get there hands on the oil! Nobody signs up to fund David Camerons new extension on his house or so Edd Balls can have a 2nd home!

      • yh maybe but u have to think about football players they don’t ask for the wages they get given them. They might not even want that money so suck ur nans mouldy toe

    • I really don’t think you’ve been paying attention.

  3. Brilliant article. One mistake though, there are 577 MP’s in England and Wales. In the UK, there are 650 MP’s because Scotland and Northern Ireland are included, plus the armed forces are a reserved matter so there’s no need to separate them into England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales. Apart from that, really enjoyed reading it.

  4. Wow, i think what people mean is soldiers deserve to get paid more than they do considering the job they do, compared to footballers who live the high life because they can kick a ball in the right direction.

    • Kick a ball in the right direction? Are you a literal spastic or just a fucking idiot?

      • Your the spastic if you glorify a person who plays a simple fucking game to anything more than they are. I bet your the sort of cunt nugget who gets his team tattoed on his chest and cries into his 50 quid t shirt with some idiotic badge on when the overpaid nancies in the same top don’t win.

      • Let’s all just be friends eh guys.

      • You angry, little, keyboard bully, how does that comment make someone a ‘spastic’ or ‘fucking idiot’?

    • If soldiers really hated their wages and jobs so much why do so many stay on?

      I respect the army I guess, but soldiers are by no means heroes. They know the risks and the salary when they sign up. A lot of my friends signed up BECAUSE of the salary. Try and find a job that will get you £25k at 18 when you’ve recently left school with few qualifications.

      Footballers get paid what they do because
      A) Most of the ones that get paid so much to “kick a ball in the right direction” as you put it are the ones at the top of the game. In a similar vein, a member of the army at the top of the brass get £100k a year.
      B) It’s the private entertainment sector. Employees can be paid whatever the fuck the employer wants (as long as it’s not in breach of minimum wage)

  5. Hello readers,
    I might have an different view on things, and they might offend others with different views and i do no intend to do so.

    In my opinion i do think that the enourmous salary of the, here called, football players(it’s not just the football players but they have been targeted by the recent media) is ridicilous compared to people who have jobs wich include educating, entertaining, reseaching and nurture the people around them. This group seems mostly underpaid, especially compared to the ‘football players’.
    I believe that the majority of the people agree with this.

    Although i find it pretty horrifying that the job of soldier is compared poor to the football players, simply due the fact that football players (how big of bad-guys they might be) still encourage a lot of people in the form of entertainment and ‘forced rolemodeling’.

    The need for entertainment is often compared to the luxury of the species, since we already live life without reasonable fear of death, disease, hunger.

    Defending or any form of fysical/mental warfare seems to me that this is the opposite of luxury. although nessecary in a lot of cases due the neverending threat of ‘death, disease and hunger’.

    hereby i rather promote entertainment then warfare, i rather pay someone who is dumb enough to kick a ball than to invest in a person who is eventually trained to end lifes, one way or the other.
    This brings more grief in any way than the fact that football players earn more money then people who nurture the lifes of others.

    I do know that people don’t understand my opinion on things, but i like to share my thought. I hope this will make you think about it, as do i read other stories and think about those ways of interpretation.

    My regards,

    L.S.

  6. yeah because 9,160,000,000 a week and that just covers regular army wage (not reserves or and other of the armed forces) is a feasable amount of money to be paying out… I think soldiers would prefer correct equipment over the extra money, because what good is money if your dead?

  7. This is funny! It’s a joke! Get over it! Serving people see the humour!
    We would love the wages tho!

  8. If people paid war and politics the same attention they pay football, maybe we wouldn’t be in a war a lot of people are unsure about, maybe we wouldn’t have politicians we “Can’t” trust and maybe young men and women would put their talents to use helping people in other war torn countries rather than being sent to create new war torn countries and dying there.

    • The sad thing is if people gave war more attention there would be more of it; but that said, i totally get your point. It’s sad.

  9. At least Leeds won the league

  10. I’m firstly not agreeing with high wages that people get paid to play footy especially wages youth players get paid at big clubs!! but look at the fact’s clubs are multi million pound company’s and generate millions in taxes as do the players (for example 150k week is 75 grand tax!!) if that money didnt got to players (some should be put to reducing ticket prices) it would just go to the already fat cats that own the clubs like……. shiekh iffy waka dago from qatariadubiaialand and leave the uk all together also look at players outside of the prem and championship and say at peterborough the average wage of a player at that level is about £800 a week (i believe) and if they never get a big move and end up dropping down league’s by the time they retire they certainly don’t have enough to live off for the rest of there live they may have a nicer house than most but still have to find a totally new career at about 30-35 some people are just so stupid to see it as they kicking a ball around and dont look at the facts yes top players make more than they should but they pay 50% tax and of the rest they are not on much more than a manager at a good retail store or someone in a decent sales position !!!!! its these fat cat banker manager with 2.5 million bonuses (that can’t be taxed) thats should be stopped #rantover

  11. Maybe soldiers should get good at football then they’d get paid good money and wouldn’t have to do a shit job

  12. I’m not too sure about your mathematics. 205330 active personnel + 181720 reserve = 387050, x 100,000 pounds = 38,705,000,000.

    Divided by 35 million taxpayers = 1,105 pounds each. I think we could afford it.

    Great analogy though

  13. The writer of this article should get footballer’s wages

  14. I don’t think you factored in the increase in tax revenues from all those soldiers being paid that much but otherwise funny point well made

  15. I’m sorry, what? I can’t tell if this is a serious article or not, looking at all the hyperbole, strawmen, ridiculous exaggeration and cheap stereotypes.

    Footballers are, quite simply, overpaid clowns in over-commercialised t-shirts who are paid several times the GDP of Kenya to kick a ball around in front of a bunch of drunken hooligans. They represent some of the very worst of our culture, and represent very poor role-models for our youth. They glamourise a materialist way of life that is fickle, brutish, short-sighted and selfish.

    Say what you like about soldiers, and I’m in agreement that paying them a footballer’s salary is not viable economically. But I say they earned their wages far more, through duty, dedication and sacrifice. Concepts that, looking at the rhetoric here, the Left despise and hold in scorn.

    I say that it’s not just soldiers who deserve a footballer’s wage either. Teachers deserve a footballers wage, doctors and nurses deserve such a wage, scientists and firemen and policemen deserve such wages. All these deserve a thousand times the luxury we heap upon those dolled-up athletes. It just goes to show where our priorities lie, I guess.

    • You’ve said “looking at all the hyperbole, strawmen, ridiculous exaggeration and cheap stereotypes.”

      Then you’ve said “Footballers are, quite simply, overpaid clowns in over-commercialised t-shirts who are paid several times the GDP of Kenya to kick a ball around in front of a bunch of drunken hooligans.”

      I shall add no further comment.

    • ‘hyperbole, strawmen, ridiculous exaggeration and cheap stereotypes.’

      The very next sentence:

      ‘Footballers are, quite simply, overpaid clowns in over-commercialised t-shirts who are paid several times the GDP of Kenya to kick a ball around in front of a bunch of drunken hooligans.’

      You can’t be serious.

      Oh, and footballers are paid according to the market rate, that’s the ‘joy’ of free-market capitalism. If ‘the Left’, who you deride, had their way then I highly doubt they’d be getting paid so much and maybe we’d see the scaling back of some of the gross excesses associated with the Premier League/modern football. Food for thought.

    • very few people deserve “footballers wages”! imagine if we did start paying doctors nurses teachers fireman etc these type of wages (presuming we could afford it), how long before many of them had saved up enough to live off and never work again? The whole concept is stupid, hense the article.
      Its the public that pay for sky/bt, shirts, tickets, pies etc that fund these wages, so the “problem” is circular. I for one am glad the Prem has the highest wages in europe as we should be collecting the most tax revenue from it.
      But i think the article is meant as a bit of fun…

    • Dedication and sacrifice….that is what it takes for a player to become a top level professional and make the kind of money some of you are complaining about. If it was so easy and mindless to play football at a high level and get paid tons of money to do so, then I’m sure the entire population would be doing it….however it is not easy to play football at the highest level and perform the feats they do, thus the reason why billions of people pay their hard earned money to watch those men do so weekly. Can nearly any 1000 men be taught to fire a gun, follow orders, and try and avoid getting killed…yes! Can any 1000 players be trained to be able to do what Messi, Neymar or Hazard can do with the ball…No

      All footballers don’t get paid lavish wages. Only the elite players do, just as I’m sure the more elite soldiers make more than the regular infantry soldiers.

  16. In all reality…

    12 September 2013 – Thompson’s radical proposal is put up for debate in Parliament. Tory back-benchers – fearing for their inherited wealth – stage a plan to delay and disrupt the debate but dragging it out beyond its allotted time–slot. They send in waffler extraordinaire and MP for North East Somerset, Jacob Rees–Mogg, who filibusters the whole topic by banging on about the fear of foreign soldiers ‘taking the jobs of our boys’. Fearing reprisals from both sides on making a decision, the coalition government brush it under the carpet. Facebook goes into meltdown of shared images – Luton sets itself on fire.

  17. I have posted this on a different website. Soldiers are better paid than footballers

    How many people try to play football in the uk ? Millions

    The entry salary to play football in the uk is zero. The entry soldier salary is more than zero

    Average footballer probably plays in third tier of semi pro football, making 150 quid a week

    Average soldier earns more than that

    Then if you look at the elite of the elite , the less than 0.001 % who plays for Man Utd they are still less paid than the elite of the elite soldiers (ex seals or sas) who have set up private security firms like blacwater or similar .

    People think that footballers are pod astronomically, but in every walk of life when you are the best amongst millions aspirants you earn top $$$.

    From sport to business …

    A bit like taking Gordon Ramsay and say that chefs (average chefs are at the bottom of the income chain) are paid too much just because he makes millions from his contractual engagements

  18. Although people say we should pay soldiers footballers wages. In pretty sure that it’s not about actually paying them each other’s wages. It’s about the fact that footballers are paid ridiculously high amounts of money for doing not really a lot. And the fact that they whinge and whine like little children, the slightest knock on the pitch and there wincing around on the floor in pain, they travel 1st class to another country for the World Cup etc, and their complaining that they miss there families. It’s literally been like a week????? Im pretty sure your £100,000 a week wages will allow you to fly your family out to see you!
    When do you hear our soldiers complaining like that?? They don’t. They put up and shut up. Because they’ve manned the hell up. A soldier gets a hit by the opposition then there’s a very high chance he could die! And some of the conditions they have to live in are absolutely appalling. These men and women risk there lives every single day to protect our country and they don’t whine about it, the fact here is not that soldiers should be paid footballers wages, but that soldiers should be paid more than what they are. Call it danger money. And footballers need to shut the hell up and stop whining that there lives are hard!!!

    • I literally showed you examples of people saying soldiers should get footballers wages, within the first five seconds of the article.

      Also, how dare footballers miss their families. What pure scum, lock them up and throw away the keys!!!!1111

  19. Didn’t read your whole thing, couldn’t be asked but got the valid point quite early. I think people don’t really think service people could be paid a huge salary, even though all the things they have to go through and they life they have to put up with they should but it would be nice if they could have tax breaks like paying no tax while away from their family or having cheap accommodation, and although while their accommodation is usually cheaper than if on civvy street why not have it for free when the tax payers have already paid for it. There are lots of things governments could do to help those who put their lives on the line for their countries and sacrifice their family lives and relationships and all they get in return is a better than average salary, which they don’t really because when they are away they work 24/7 so if you break that down they’d be on 2-3 pound an hour. There’s a lot more that can be done to show our appreciation of their service 🙂

  20. People seem to think they can just take money from footballers and give it to soldiers. It’s not that easy, where would the justice be if we stole (bc I doubt they’d happily give it away) money from footballers. This is all to do with our society, maybe if we publicised the work of soldiers in the same way football is publicised and so current in media. Oh but we can’t, bc the soldiers form a part of the government where national security needs to be protected. The way footballers are exploited and presented by the media is sometimes to much, but this is why they get so much money, bc the public know about them and root for them on games; they have fans. Soldiers, on the other hand, have a much greater responsibility that has much greater repercussions, it would be impossible, due to our government, to exploit them in the way we do footballers. While I do believe the wage difference is unfair, it’s just the way society works; being famous takes you further than good deeds does in this world.

  21. Very much enjoyed that.

    And sorry to be a pedant, but the 650 MPs are from the entire UK, not just England and wales.

  22. Disagree… Agree soldiers are underpaid, agree footballers are over paid… But swap wages? If these people are that bothered and earn more than a soldier would they change wages? Would they bollox-and for the record, these footballers pay super tax on their money, work out what they contribute to the economics of this country in a year and it more than the average worker does in their life! So you can tell me that footballers don’t pay their way… If you truly want to scapegoat people for wages it should be, bankers, politicians and high flying executives…

  23. Footballers dont get payed by the gouvernment anyway they get payed by wealthy people who have millions and millions of pounds, the more these people pay the footballers the more money the gouvernment makes from taxes etc. which allows them to pay the soldiers more if they choose to so its hardly a bad thing them getting so much money.

  24. What it comes down to, is that the number of players required in a game of football is capped at 11 (with subs) compared to war in which there is no cap on the number of soldiers. In addition, there is far more equipment (what economists would call capital) permitted in war.

    Therefore the equilibrium at which Manchester United optimises their performance, given their money, is to pay for 11 very high quality players. All the other football teams have access to the same players, hence demand, supply etc.

    In war by contrast, although the UK government could spend the defence budget on the 11 best (by some criteria) soldiers and nothing else, it is more likely to win if it buys lots of people who are willing to work for a lower wage. The fact that governments tend to hire locally means that there is little competition further driving down the price at the equilibrium. In addition they can spend their money on force multipliers like aircraft carriers, which turn a handful of people into something closer in destructive capability to a natural disaster. This reduces the quality of person they have to purchase as well – you don’t need the absolute cleverest/strongest person to beat nation X, you just need an averagely clever/strong (cheaper) person in a tank. Or a jet. etc

    Therefore the problem, if you deem soldiers being paid less than footballers a problem, is not just a budgetary one, it is in the different rules underlying the two games.

  25. This article is just brilliant! So well written too, I was giggling all the way through. I do still think footballers get paid far too much and it takes the heart out of the sport at times but I’ve often had a little eye roll when reading Facebook statuses comparing soldiers wages to theirs … Hilarious. Can you do one about what would happen if drs got paid the same as footballers now!

  26. Why are footballers getting the brunt of this? How much do tennis/golf/F1 pros earn. I couldn’t agree more that the armed service personnel should be paid a large wage- I appreciate that they provide me and my family a country that we are safe to live in- but why are footballers being made to feel guilty? Why aren’t other professionals who earn a lot of money punished??

    • I think, based on the “for my next imagined football scenario…” statement at the end of the article, this author primarily focuses on football and it’s members. I’m sure people, this author included, would agree with your statement that other professions are equally overpaid compared to soldiers, this particular article just happens to be focused on the author’s favoured topic: football.

  27. Reblogged this on Nathan Lowndes, Football Genius and commented:
    Useful resource

  28. This is the most pathetic article I have ever read, you are totally degrading our soldiers. Obviously we can’t pay soldiers as much as footballers because footballers get a ridiculous amount of money that no one should be earning! You never see soldiers complaining about their pay, just other people in their defence, I agree with these people entirely, they should be earning more but because they care so much about others and so little about themselves they make the best of it. I guarantee however that if footballers got a slight reduction in pay there would be an uproar and most of them would quit. Rather than giving soldiers footballers salaries we should change footballers salaries to the same as soldiers if not lower. And to the people that say anyone who tries can be a soldier you should probably stop commenting idiotic and useless comments and go to Iraq yourselves.

  29. The way some people go on about soldiers, youd think we still had conscription. They join the army, they know what theyre getting into. Yes they probably should get paid more, but there isnt enough taxpayers money to go around to give every person paid by the state a payrise. And for footballers, well yes some do get paid too much but footballers these days are essentially the same as actors or popstars in that the build up fanbases and thats why they earn so much money. I mean we could try turning soldiers into celebrity superstars, but i dont think many of us like the sound of a world where we celebrate how many kills soldiers get over celebrating how many goals a footballer scores…

  30. I think the writer has completely missed the point. Whilst this was an entertaining read, I think what most people are trying to get accross is that footballers earning over x amount of money should have additional taxes that are pumped back into military services,nhs,schools ect

  31. Disagree with soldiers being paid footballers wages. I believe loopholes in the corporate tax system should be firmly closed, Starbucks comes to mind. What would be the grand sum of tax paid by corporate companies if they had no loophole which allowed them to avoid paying it in the first place. The government would have a bit more revenue for paying soldiers an increase in their wage.
    Hang on though, it is not just soldiers that get a raw deal, what about nurses, firefighters, police, social services etc?
    Each year they get a measly pay rise, each year their budget becomes smaller & their workload increases, yet most still they stay in their jobs & show real loyalty to their profession. Who knows, This might change soon.
    Politicians, on the other hand, get bigger pay rises, they have the privilege of expenses accounts & it is a privilege which has been abused for far too long. If we were to continue paying the same wages to them but take their expenses accounts away from them, give them the same pay rise as key workers, reduce their office budgets & increase their workload by reducing levels of staff, would they stay and get on with it? Would they strike and argue for what they believe in? Or would they find themselves another job? Would they remain loyal to their profession? It would be interesting too see what they would do.
    It is wrong to say if people are not happy with their wage they should find a better paid job, a wage is only one part of the job, having job satisfaction is the most important, some people love their jobs but not the politics surrounding it. The issue is not about swapping wages, it is whether the government are going to realise that recruitment levels into key worker professions are low & this is only through their own doing because they have been dishing out the raw deals for years.
    In years to come there might well be no-one there to defend our country, catch the criminals, nurse and care for the sick or protect our elderly & young from abuse etc. Politicians will then discover how it feels to truly lack resources when they are needed the most. In all honesty, it feels as though the country is slowly winding back the clock & won’t be stopping until it reaches the good old days of poverty, no healthcare, class segregation, child labour, no education etc.
    I hope that does not happen.

  32. I think it should go to people that have passed their GCSE’s.

  33. If people weren’t cunts there would be no need for army’s!!

  34. Ok so I don’t presume to know anything about wages vs tax or what ever. I’m just saying…Wayne Rooney and the rest of the lads get payed far too much to the sake of ‘entertainment’ considering they’re loosing most of the time. I mean a doctor gets paid less yet he’s got more skill then any footballer can be arsed to train for. Forget the soldiers give the doctors the money! At least they save lives for a living! You can turn the fact in any funny direction you; want footballers are still paid too much the crappy performance they’re always pulling on the local, national and international field. End of.

    • Wayne Rooney does not lose most of the time.. The reason he gets paid so well is because he is THE BEST of the best. Average Joe Bloggs from inner city Sheffield with no qualifications but an ASBO for being D&D does not deserve anything like the reward Rooney does for the amount of effort he has dedicated to football. Joe Bloggs failed at education and joined the army as a last resort through lack of opportunity.. Should we be paying those who join the army as a result of no options due to fucking up that much money??? Doesnt exactly set a good example.. another reason soldiers don’t deserve high wages: they kill people

  35. What i don’t understand is why is it only footballers who get hate about their wages… Nobody ever complains about actors, musicians or even other sports people.

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